Michael Gervais, PhD

The single greatest bulwark against FOPO is having a strong sense of self. Know who you are and the opinions of others cease to be a constant threat. ... As Joseph Campbell put it, ‘The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

If your orientation is to take the temperature of the world around you before tapping into the fire inside you, you will never unlock your potential.

The goal, each and every time you hear the chimes of FOPO, is to focus more on who you want to be, versus what you think they want you to be.

As Lao Tzu, the philosopher and reputed author of the Tao Te Ching, and the founder of Taoism said, ‘Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.

For people with a purpose-based identity, it’s not the evaluation of other people that drives them or fuels them. It’s the meaning of what they’re doing and the potential of what they can impact. Those are two very different fuels. One is sustainable, and the other will burn you out.

How do we direct our attention where we want it to go rather than default to the brain’s primitive craving for social approval? Mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a foundational tool to change your relationship with FOPO. It enables you to be more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions in each moment, giving you the space to respond rather than react. Mindfulness is both a state of being and a skill.

Simply recognizing that most people, to varying degrees, are moving through the world under their own spotlight—and are not focused on you—can help override your emotional programming and counteract the spotlight effect.